July 6 - What International Holiday is Today?

So, like many people in the world, I own a smart phone. And like many people, I download random apps out of pure boredom. A long time ago, I downloaded an app that was specific to the "not so traditional" national holidays. Believe me, I understand how silly that sounds, but isn't it fascinating!? Anyway, lets get to the real reason you're actually reading this article, shall we?

As you might have guessed, today is a very interesting day among all the random days.

INTERNATIONAL KISSING DAY

Ahhh, it's Kissing Day. The objective of this very special day, is to appreciate and enjoy a kiss. So, go ahead and swap some spit today. Pucker up and give out a big, juicy wet one to anyone and everyone. Kissing originated thousands, and perhaps millions, of years ago. It is believed to have originated from mouth to mouth feeding of parents to a child. My, it certainly has evolved over the centuries. But, why is that? The answer is simply because it makes us feel good.

There's all sorts of kisses, for all sorts of reasons. There's the peck on the cheek, the full on the mouth kiss, the French Kiss, (the favorite among lovers), and so many more. For example, have you heard of the common Eskimo kiss? It's when two noses rub up against each other and move back and forth by shaking of the head. It’s affectionate and often given from a parent to their child. The Eskimo Kiss is believed to be the romantic option for those who live in cold climates, otherwise there’s risk of lips getting stuck together. But its also a more socially acceptable way to be affectionate with your partner without making others feel uncomfortable. For silly people like myself, I enjoy this type of kiss solely for the ability to make my boyfriend laugh.

Another popular style is the butterfly kiss. There is a plethora of kisses that don't even require lip to lip contact. In this interactions, two people get so close to each others faces while they kiss that their eyelashes connect. This kind of kiss and it’s intimate gesture is for those madly infatuated or in love with each other.

What about the stereotypical Air Kiss? Air Kisses can be seen in old french movies in greetings. It’s done by giving out a “Mwaah” in the air beside someone’s cheek. Sometimes it’s done on both cheeks depending on what country you’re in. It’s popular among celebs and can also be seen within family and friends. It’s a non romantic, friendly gesture. You can also sometimes see it in some of the LGBT community, but not done by all.

***

Lets move past the PG rating and into more of a passionate area of expertise. In a seductive kiss, you an enter into an open mouth lip-lock that’s much like a subtle French kiss but with less tongue. This is a kiss to win someone’s heart and seduce them. It will make anyone’s knees weak. So girls watch out and boys practice up!

This is one that research has given me as new. The unheard of "lizard kiss" is where the tongue rapidly goes in and out of the mouth in quick strokes. It’s a passionate kiss for lovers that are hot and heavy into each other. Some would call this a bit aggressive, but often this is a style of kiss that isn't appropriate for brand new lovers, but rather the type of lovers with a good sense of humor.

Did You Know? People are not the only creatures to kiss. Apes, cats, dogs, and dolphins, are among the animals that share a kiss or two.


Did You Know? Okay, you may not want to know this juicy tidbit. Kissing can transmit 80 million microbes of bacteria.

Did You Know? The science of kissing is called philematology?

Did You Know? Kissing at the conclusion of a wedding ceremony can be traced to ancient Roman tradition where a kiss was used to sign a contract.

Did You Know? On July 16, 1439, King Henry VI banned kissing in England to prevent the spread of the plague.

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Kissing Breakdown! Kissing the Anatomy

Many intimate couples will often lay a kiss on different parts of the body, but did you ever wonder what each body part may mean? You could be sending the wrong message and not even know it!



Forehead Kiss- This kiss is known as the "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss but can be a comforting kiss for anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across their forehead. A comforting kiss that means "I care about you" as a friend.

Eyelid Kiss- Softly kiss your partner's eyelids one at a time. This is a very erotic and arousing kiss. It can also be a very romantic way to wake up your partner. A soft, gentle kiss that means "I want to be with you"

Ear Kiss- While your kissing/or just sitting there with your partner lightly kiss your partners neck move up to his/her ear and lightly suck and lick his ear. DON'T stick your tongue in his ear as that's a big turn off. But keep it light and your partner wont keep their hands off of you.

Earlobe Kiss- Gently kiss and suck their earlobe. Avoid loud sucking noises as the sound will hurt their ears. A sensual kiss meaning "let's get closer".

Cheek Kiss- This kiss is often the preferred kiss for a first date or early on in a new relationship. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across their cheek. A friendly kiss saying, "I really like you".

Peck Kiss- Kiss your partner's lips quickly and lightly. This isn't a very intimate kiss, but does mean they're interested in you.

Nose Kiss- Lean forward slowly to their face and softly kiss your their nose. This is a good way to get your partner's attention and it always makes them smile! This kiss literally tells your partner that you want to get silly together.

Lip Nibble Kiss- This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite too hard causing you to hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations. This gentle, but rough kiss lets your partner know that you're hungry for more!

Lip Tease Kiss- Lightly lick your partner's lips from the outside to the inside. They will react by opening their lips more so you can lick further inside. This kiss leaves a wonderful tingling sensation. A sexy kiss that shows you like to tease.

Jawline Kiss- Start by short kisses right below the jaw and work your way down to the collar bone. Next, blow a little air as you make your way back to the jaw.

Neck Lick Kiss- Slowly lick up the side of their neck to their ear and then follow your path back with gentle kisses giving your partner chills. You're in the mood for love with this sensual kiss.

Neck Nibble Kiss- Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.

Shoulder Kiss- This can be a test to see if you are interested in having sex. If you softly moan, lean your head to the side exposing your neck, or lean back against the person kissing your shoulder then it should give the hint that you want to do more.

Collarbone Kiss- Begin kissing your partner's neck, all the way up by the ear, then slowly work your way down their neck to their collarbone. This is very sensual and arousing.

Hand Kiss- Gently raise their hand to your lips and lightly brush your lips across the top of it. Historically, this kiss was performed with a bow to show deference to a lady. A gentle kiss on the hand generally means "I adore you", but also is a sign of respect and kindness.

Fingertip Kiss- While kissing, as he raises his hands to your face, take them, hold them, and slowly ease away from his mouth. Gently kiss and or suck each finger. This feels great and it is very fun to watch.

Belly Kiss- Get down on one knee. Softly lift your partner's shirt revealing a little bit of their belly. Then kiss what is revealed. This kiss can lead to much more. A fun, yet sweet way to see if your partner wants to get more intimate.

Belly Button Kiss- Lightly kiss and blow on their belly button. It should give her the shivers and make her giggle.

Australian Kiss- This kiss is like a French kiss, but down under. Your partner is totally focused on pleasuring you.

Foot Kiss- This can be an erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle but relax and enjoy it! Gently suck on their toes and then lightly kiss their foot. Massaging the base of their foot at the same time can add a lot to this kiss. A kiss that means you're not afraid to try new things.

Most all kisses will express some sort of love or intimacy between loved ones or partners. If you can't tell so far. Here are a few more!

Did You Know? Diseases that can be transmitted through kissing include Mononucleosis ("kissing disease") and Herpes. Contraction of HIV through kissing is extremely unlikely, though one woman was infected in 1997 when a woman and infected man both had gum disease. Transmission was likely through the man's blood and not his saliva.

Did You Know? A medieval manuscript warns Japanese men against deep kissing during the female orgasm because a woman might accidentally bite off part of her lover's tongue.

Did You Know? "X"'s at the end of a correspondence letter represent the contact of the lips during a kiss.

Did You Know? Our brains have special neurons that help us find each other's lips in the dark.

Did You Know? Lips are like snowflakes or human fingerprints. No two lips impressions are the same.




We may think a passionate kiss is a universal pleasure, but in some cultures, kissing doesn't take place at all.  According to a new research, less than half of all societies use kissing to express sexual desire – and some even find the act repulsive. The study found that out of 168 cultures from around the world, only 46 per cent of them kiss in the romantic sense. 

For instance, data suggests 15 cultures out of 33 studied in North America where kissing is not present. Romantic kissing takes place in all Middle Eastern countries studies, but in Europe, three out of the 10 countries in the survey found kissing in a romantic scenario to be unacceptable. In Asia, 27%, or 10 out of 27 countries, didn't kiss romantically. The new study, which appears in an article in American Anthropologist, focused on romantic kisses between couples.

***

Even though I believe you can get over most things in terms of sexual compatibility, it can be really difficult to overcome what a massive turnoff bad kissing is. And I think part of that reason is that when you think about it, kissing is gross— especially when you get tongues involved. Yes, French kissing is sexy and intimate and can be such a turn on when done correctly. It's often the bridge between innocent pecks and proper "let's get this thing going" pre-sex making out. But it's also gross. And if you're not that into kissing this person, the grossness becomes more apparent.

The grossness is no one's fault. Once you add tongues into the mix, you're suddenly dealing with fluids and body parts that have an inherent ick factor to them. And sometimes it's gross because the person just doesn't know what they're doing and makes gross things happen. Either way, yuck.

Now don't get me wrong, Frenching is still totally worth it. In my opinion the hotness it brings definitely outweighs the spit and the bacteria and all of that. Especially when you like the person a lot. It's one of those things— like a lot of sex— that is amazing in the moment, but when you actually pull back and think about you realize is objectively pretty nasty. Oh well, thank god being turned on makes it more difficult to be grossed out, because I'm definitely not going to stop with the tongues anytime soon. Here are seven gross things that happen when you kiss with tongue, because breakfast in bed is great until you find a hunk of toast in their mouth:

1: Bacteria Galore - It's probably no surprise to you, but French kissing is basically a bacteria orgy in your mouth. In just 10 seconds of kissing there are about 80 million bacteria being swapped around there. It's pretty gross, but the lucky part is that the vast majority of these are harmless, so there's no need to panic.

2: Darts and Dead Fish - A lot of people don't like French kissing and I think that it's because quite a few people out there are bad at it. There are people that dart their tongue around your mouth in a really aggressive way, and even grosser there are those people who just leave their tongue chilling in your mouth like a dead fish. Yuck.

3: Hair Mouth - If you're kissing with your mouth closed, you're probably not going to notice if there's a bit of hair in the vicinity. Kissing with tongue is basically asking to choke on a hair. Or if you're two girl who both of a lot of hair, too much Frenching means one of you is going to cough up a hairball at some point. Gah.

4: You Taste (or Feel) Their Last Meal - French kissing is all sweet and intimate until you realize how much you're actually exploring back there with your tongue. We've all gone in for the kiss and found a taste we weren't exactly hoping for. And if breakfast in bed leads to kissing in bed there's a good chance you'll find a little crumb of toast in your oral expedition. Gross.


5: The Saliva High-Wire - Yeah, there's a little spit when it comes to any kissing, but once your tongues are moving into each other's mouths there's a whole lot of spit being transferred. If that isn't enough, there's the great moment when you pull away and a little line of saliva is still running between your two mouths. Who's saliva is it? What do you do with it? How do you make eye contact now? Questions we will never answer.

6: Morning Breath Transfer - Horrible morning breath. We all get it. There is no hope for it. You can brush your teeth and wash out your mouth with grain alcohol, kill every little thing that's in there, but sometimes over night things come back with a vengeance. A few polite pecks when you wake up and you probably can hide the damage, but as things heat up the morning breath will be revealed.


7: Hormone Swap - I saved the best for last because this is gross but also kind of awesome. So apparently scientists think men might like shoving their tongues into women's mouths because unconsciously they're trying to transfer the testosterone in their saliva that increases sex drive.According to Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher: "There is evidence that men like sloppier kisses with more open mouth. That suggests they are unconsciously trying to transfer testosterone to stimulate sex drive in women."

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Now this is the biggest question of them all.  How do you know if you're a good kisser or a bad kisser? Well, the only real way to know is to be told by someone who has experienced your kisses. Ask yourself: Has anyone ever told you that you're a good kisser? That doesn't automatically imply that if no one has that you're terrible at tonsil hockey. But there isn't any shame in asking. I mean, if you're too sensitive for the answer, then maybe you should just get a make-out buddy to help grow your skills. But if you're also a little too embarrassed for that, here are a couple links where you can go to learn a few tips if non of the ones you've read here have been helpful at all.

Women's Health describes in an article, Makout Session 101, "Kissing evolved as a way to assess a potential partner's compatibility because it exchanges a host of information about health and hormonal status," says Gordon Gallup, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Albany.  What does this mean to you? Well, I perceive that as saying your skills will attract someone of the same skill level.  But how important is that in your selected mate?

Men's Health also printed an article on How to be a better kisser. This article describes how, Whether it’s your first kiss or your fiftieth, “women, more so than men, use kissing as an assessment device,” says Susan M. Hughes, Ph.D. “Men, however, would forgo kissing as long as they can have sex.”  

It seems rather unanimous between genders that regardless of your skill level, you'll be judged on it and if you can find a mate that levels you out, you're golden.

So get out there, Pucker up, and law a big wet one on the one you care about!

Thinking of Going Back to School? Here's Why You Should!

So you're thinking about go back to school? Or maybe you've finally hit that golden age of legal adulthood and college is your next step? Don't worry. No seriously! If you're an over-thinker, extra planner, break down the details kind of person like me, I promise, you don't need to worry. I know that doesn't really do much to actually calm your worry, I get it. I've been you.  I've been where you are, no matter what place you might be in.

A little back story on me, which I'm sure you care deeply about. (If you don't care about my story, feel free to skip to the next section.)

When I turned 18, after graduation mind you, I knew that going to college was the next step. For a lot of us, its either college or the military. In today's society, if you don't have a plan for your next step your future is not off to a good start. You could hear more judgmental people say things like, "you're going to end up living in the gutter," or, "what will you do with your life?", "How will you survive?". Some people can be so rude. Anyway, these are the things that I got when people would ask me what the next step was. Honestly, at 18, I had no idea. Like I said, I knew that college was next in line, but where? What for? Not the slightest idea. I wasn't ready to leave high school. I knew that from then on out, I was expected to make my own decisions and survive nearly on my own. I didn't feel like high school had prepared me for that. I didn't know about bills, taxes, budgeting, how to change a tire, cooking more than easy mac and ramen, the list could go on and on. So on top of not feeling prepared with knowledge, I was lost in where I wanted my life to go.

What was the most discouraging was that everybody else had already seemed to "know" their calling. They knew exactly what they wanted to do and where they wanted to go. To be fair, some of them were in the know for years longer than just their senior year. I knew that there were things that I liked, and things that I was interested in, but what could I make into a career? This is where my Mom came in.

Logically, like most families, either your parents are paying for your college tuition or you're getting student loans or financial aid. In my case, my parents had a little bit of savings for me to pay for my college. Since it was their money going into my future, they had a little say in the matter of what I did with it. My Mom knew me well enough to know what I liked, so I let her choose my major and my school. Neither were bad decisions. She chose Graphic Design at a nearby community college. The friends I made my first 2 years of college were unforgettable, and we still correspond from time to time even now, but graphic design wasn't for me. I nearly completed my degree when I made this decision, but it wasn't something that I could make a decent career out of. So instead, I focused on finished my general education classes. I knew that I would need some time to figure out what major I would switch to, but I wasn't ready to be done with classes.

After going as a part time student for another year, I decided to go into the Accounting and Bookkeeping program at the same community college. That lasted about a year. At the time I was saving the money that my parents had given me, and I was paying out of pocket from the earnings I was getting from the 3 jobs that I had. Yeah, I said that correctly. I was working 3 jobs, while putting myself though college. Its no fairy-tale story. Getting through college is hard, and trying to do it on your own is even harder.

Fast forward to almost 10 years since I graduated high school and I still have no degree. I've attempted school 3 separate times, never being able to complete a program. But, to be honest, I wouldn't peg it out to be the lack of ambition to finish. Its just that I still haven't found that "thing" that is for me; that niche that I was made for; that things that I'm the most passionate about. And I still haven't. I've had such a long break since my last attempt that its time to go back. Its time to try again. Only this time, I have a new approach.

My plan will take longer than the first few, which seems a bit intimidating, but I'm excited to try.  I'm trying to incorporate some of the things that I love, and some of the things that I've always wanted with my life. But since this is a different type of approach, I'm going about it differently than I have in the past. We'll see how this plays out!!

Before You go back to school, Do These 3 Things

1. FIND OUT WHAT YOU WANT TO STUDY -- One of the biggest things that helped me was an honest to god Venn Diagram. Believe me, I know that sounds really silly but it helps. If you're unfamiliar with what a Venn Diagram looks like Here is the one that I used. You can use any header for the circles

If you're interested in getting the word file, comment below! I can send it to you! =]

2.  CHECK YOUR FINANCES -- How are you going to pay for classes? Savings, loans, financial aid, parents moo-lah, etc. There are plenty of options. Don't be discouraged if you don't have the money to pay for it. If you have a job, a little budgeting and a payment plan can get you through. Financial aid is also an option! It's a form of student loan that is available for people that will struggle to pay for college. FAFSA is one of the most common ones that colleges use. Check the school website that you've chosen, they usually have a section dedicated solely to financial aid. Some of which can go through the school itself instead of going through the government website. You can also apply for student loans through your bank! they often give you better interest rates knowing that its for your education. But there is no harm in asking! There are Scholarships! A quick google search will lead you do hundreds of sites that can take you to different scholarships that are available to you, no matter what your level of intelligence or experience.

 Scholarships.com , ScholarshipOwl.com , ScholarshipZone.com

And there are many more! You may have to put in some effort, but the big ones are worth it when you're receiving anywhere from $50-$10,000 in college funds! You can get Grants! Unlike loans, grants you will never have to pay back! There are a lot of grants that you get through the school you decide to go to, and some even from cities and states! The more you search, the likelier you are to find one that is perfect for you!

3.  DO YOUR RESEARCH! -- One thing I wish I would have done, was do some research. Find a school program that fits for you! once you have found the program you'd like to study, don't just pick a school at random. believe it or not, some schools are better than others. Depending on your field, some would look much better on a resume when applying for different jobs. If money is a motivator for you, look into accredited community colleges with good transfer programs. This could save you THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS! Despite what you may have heard, there is nothing wrong with community colleges. They have many benefits! Usually they're smaller so you'll get more attention from your professors. Most CC programs can get you an AA in your field and move onto your bachelors when you go to your university. There are many more, but don't discount a community college just for being a community college! As long as its an accredited college, and the program is what you're looking for, Go For It!

The Best and Worst Times to start your search

Now. Its plain and simple. The sooner you start, the more informed you are, the more prepared you are, the more self assured you will be. Trust me. Its as simple as that. You may have another year or two before its even feasible, But the more you know, the more prepared you are, the better off you will be! Once you think you know everything, don't stop. Things change over time! Program curriculum may change, tuition can change, important aspects of the job you're searching for may change. Over time, things can change.  Keep up on what is happening with your future.

A New Way to Think About going back to school

Seriously, it can be scary. You're taking on a new challenge, you're pushing yourself for growth. But don't be afraid! Instead of thinking about the new and exciting as scary, think of it as NEW AND EXCITING!! You're about to make tons of new friends. You're about to learn so many new things! You're about to have so many new experiences! And to top it off, you're about to take on the biggest thing to be proud of in your life! (feel free to be indifferent about that)

Finishing School Makes You Look Better

Finishing school not only makes you a better candidate for the jobs you're searching for! you'll automatically be considered for higher positions because finishing alone shows that you're dedicated to completing something. It also shows that you're smart enough to do the jobs that you're looking at. You've been educated and the diploma proves that.

In Conclusion: 

The moral of the story is, if you're thinking about it, do it. Don't let anything hold you back. your fears, your circumstances, your friends, your family. I promise you won't regret it.

Good Luck to you!

Ish My brrday! To Celebrate or not to Celebrate? That is the question.

Well, for those of you who aren't aware, today is my birthday!! I turn the big 27. Have you heard about numbers that represent something? The first time I heard about it, it was for anniversaries. You  know, like the 10th anniversary is a diamond and the 30th anniversary is a pearl. That sort of thing. 

It's almost associated with the study of numerology. The numerology number 27 is about philanthropy and compassion in a cooperative atmosphere. The number 27 is a wonderful number. The energies it represents makes the number kind hearted, tolerant, intelligent, a team worker, and so very much wanting to see humanity better off than it is. 27 endeavors to inspire others to support humanitarian groups and organizations, using its diplomatic skills and enticing them with a vision of an ideal. The groups and organizations are carefully chosen for their effectiveness.  A sense of fulfillment for 27 comes with others adopting its sense of idealism and actively helping to achieve that end.

The deep down basic essence of the numerology number 27 is philanthropy and compassion. A cooperative atmosphere is much preferred. To better understand the essence of 27, let's have a look at its composition and the number it is reduced to. The number 27 is composed of the digits 2 and 7 and then is reduced to the single digit 9:

2 + 7 = 9

Thus, the essence of the numerology number 27 contains the essence of the individual digits 9, 2, and 7.The digit the number is reduced to always has more force or capacity than the digits of the number being reduced. The relative amount each contributes to the whole could be represented by this graph:

Thus, the 27 essence contains

• the 9's essence, such as being non-judgmental, humanitarian, and tolerant, plus a generous dose of the 2's essence, such as cooperation, relationships, and diplomacy, and a dose of the 7's essence, such as introspection, study, and spirituality.

The result is a unique essence.                                                       

[affinitynumerology.com]

* * * * * * * * * *

Now, the idea behind numbers actually meaning something is fun in theory, but it doesn't say anything about me as a person. I can tell you that I'm kind hearted, tolerant, intelligent, and all those things previously mentioned adjectives; and most of them I am. But I am not those things solely because I am now this age. I've been those things for many years of my life, not just today.

Birthdays only come around once a year, for most of us. But for Pharaohs in ancient Egypt, they were considered to transform into gods at their coronation, leading to that date being much more significant than that of their own earthly birth. In turn helping them receive two special days of celebration. Those lucky Pharaohs, not only leading entire civilizations, but also getting two "birthdays"!? As luck would have it, they were also trendsetters because the first known documentation of a "birthday" was for a Pharaoh. (around 3000 B.C.E.)

Those Egyptian leaders got to party with the gods, but for those less fortunate, we just get a more personalized type of party. The traditional style of celebrating is with cake and candles, right? But why do we blow out candles on our birthday? Some believe that the candles were a response to the evil spirits. They show up to communicate with the gods. A light, in the darkness.

For others it symbolizes a new year of living. The flame is represents "the light of life". Not to imply that when blown out that your inner light is dead, but to more mean that the end of the flame is the beginning of the next step in life. Everyone needs to be reminded of the flame inside all of them. The things that they love, the things that make them happy. This is where personalized birthday parties came from. We celebrate with what we love to continue to feel something.  Isn't that what we all need? Something to remind us of how it feels to feel something. That warm fuzzy feeling that ensues when you blow out the candles and everyone sings you the happy tune.



But did you ever wonder where that song came from? I was a little surprise to find that it was more of a "stolen" tune.  In 1893, Patty Hill and Mildred J. Hill wrote a song they called, “Good Morning To All,” which was intended to be sung by students before classes began. The song eventually caught on across America, giving rise to a number of variations. Robert Coleman eventually published a songbook in 1924, adding a few extra lyrics that would quickly come to overshadow the original lines. The new rendition became the version we now all know, “Happy Birthday To You.”

         Original Lyrics                                                                                                             Remix        

Good Morning To All,                                                                                      Happy Birthday to you,
Good Morning To All,                                                                                      Happy Birthday to you,

Good Morning, dear (NAME),                                                                Happy Birthday, Dear (NAME),     
Good Morning To You!                                                                                   Happy Birthday to you!

 

I think everyone has their own version of Happy birthday with different notes and chords.  There are even more renditions for instrument only type songs. For example, the saxophone can give this tune a very jazzy feel, whereas a cello has the opportunity to give it a much more classical vibe.

    

If you ask me, my favorite of all renditions that I've heard is from Futurama. Trying to show that that's how the future would sing it. But how would they know? I don't think they would, but it is an interesting version, that's for sure.



I'm spending my birthday alone for the most part, not by choice. But it will be more on the luxurious side in which I am certainly not complaining. I get to sleep in, in a king size bed, in a fancy hotel with an amazing French toast breakfast followed by a rigorous bout at the fitness center.  Or at least that was the plan. Ha!  

Honestly, its just nice to not be at work. In the past, I have experienced what normal people would call a "quarter-life crisis". But what exactly is the crisis with having a birthday? I think its more about a realization. A realization that your everything that you originally wanted to accomplish in your life by the time you get to the whatever age you're turning. Do you ever notice that when people do this, they're comparing themselves to others? 

Why do we do this?  Its not like its helping anyone. How others have lived their lives shouldn't have any effect on how you live your life. Your choices are your choices and the consequences of those choices don't always necessarily have to be negative. Keep that in mind before you start to freak out about whatever you have, or haven't, done.  These feelings will subside and eventually you'll either do something to send you in the direction you thought you were meant for, or you'll stop feeling this way. Moral of the story, Stop worrying about where you are in life right now, and start thinking more about what is happening right now. With that, I choose to enjoy my birthday. Have a good one everyone!

How to get away with Literally Anything

I'm not going to tell you that there's some magic thing you can do to start doing whatever the hell you want. I'm not going to preach nonsense at you in the form of this blog post. What I am going to do is give you different types of scenarios of ways you can get away with certain things in certain situations and then give you the key to being able to do it anytime, anywhere you want.

Are you ready? lets get started!

We will start with that wondrous thing that we continue to produce. Kids.  They have it so easy! especially now a days, they just have to whine and cry to get what they want. and not only are they not getting punished for acting in such ways, they're rewarded with whatever they were whining and crying about to begin with.  Don't freak out parents, I'm not calling out to everyone, in this case, but you know there are parents out there like this. 

But what I'm really talking about is kids with divorced parents. In these types of cases, the separated parents usually do very little communicating other than in concern for their child[ren]. Once they reach a certain age, and they can begin fending for themselves enough to get by, they can find these little loopholes where their parents don't check in. Telling one parent they're staying with the other  and telling the other parent their staying with the first and next thing you know they're out getting drunk at a college kegger. This isn't always the case, but that lack of communication is how a child/teenager can easily slip through the cracks and experience the freedom that is lack of guidance.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all kids are out to get one for their own, but what I am saying is that it isn't difficult for a kid to get away with staying out late, saying what they want, doing what they want, and getting that experience of freedom before they get to adulthood.

In high school they also have the opportunity to get away with much much much more than adults. To elaborate more, you can easily get out of going to school by having you parent or guardian call in and "claim" that you're sick. Kids can take advantage of college classes in high school FOR FREE! why I didn't think about that when I was in high school is beyond me. I wasn't prepared for student loans, but kids can easily get away with knocking out a few college credits without having to break the bank! See the full list: 10 things you can get away with in High School - unfortunately for those who aren't in school anymore but these kids should revel in these victories.

Jumping to the other end of the spectrum, as an old person, you have chances to get away with things just for being old! I mean, think about it? Do you have someone in your family or close friends that falls into the elderly or older crowd?  Think about some of the thing they can get away with. They can literally say anything they want. From calling you fat, to being insensitively racist. Everyone will just assume that because they're old, they have forgotten where they are or how to act in public.

Old people can get away with any kind of driving. And I mean ANY kind! Say you're driving down the road and someone is going very, very slowly. When you go to pass you see it is an older gentleman. You'll usually just shrug it off just because their old, right? Say you see someone swerving all over the road, staying between the lines, but driving rather erratically. When you go to pass, you see its an older lady, sitting uncomfortably close to the steering wheel. You'll, most like again, shrug it off and assume that they should have gotten their license taken away years ago!

As a friendly, somewhat attractive female, I've often been the victim of the "creepy old dude", as I'm sure other young women of my age range have. You know who I'm talking about! The older guy that makes any sort of advance your way maybe its an inappropriate arm around you, touching your forearm, grabbing your hand, saying something inappropriate, winking [which is the worst, in my opinion], or any other thing that makes a common female feel uncomfortable.  Despite the fact that you are entirely creeped out and want to be friendly and nice, THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT!! Believe me, they know that they're creepy; they know that they're being inappropriate; but they know that they can get away with it! Which is why they do it. We all know its not intentional. Most older men just want to express some sort of flirtation. A type of flirtation that is being built up inside because the lack of opportunity around while they're surrounded by other living fossils. It happens to a lot more women than you would think. If you ever wanted to know why, someone has broken it down! MADAMENOIR has an article to depict exactly why you're attracting creepy old men.

"First things first: Why are many women uncomfortable by the advances of a much older man? After recently reading Omar Tyree’s Dirty Old Men, I came across two very important points from a very informative and entertaining book: For one, there’s nothing that wrong with a man high in age still having a libido. Still recognizing beauty, and if not married, still trying to pursue it openly. Just cause you get older doesn’t mean you won’t be interested in sex, and there’s obviously something forbidden and exciting about fresh meat to a man, right?  Then two, even if you understand the need for older folks to pursue a sex life, you don’t want to think about it, and when you do, it’s just gross. Especially if they might want to have a sex life with you. Point blank, if you’re not looking to entice “Big Poppa,” than the strong flirtations are unwanted. But mostly,...."

[Read the full article here!]                              

The last thing I want to focus on with the older generation is how just about every old person alive can get away with having that "old person smell". You know, that smell that makes you gag, but you can't express any sort of reaction to it without being impolite! Breath through the mouth. Don't you always chalk it up to them just being old? "It's just their nature!" "All old people smell!" But my question is, when is the age that all of these things are considered acceptable? when do you reach an age where you're "old" enough to be considered old?  That, my friends, is an unknown mystery.
20 Things Old Geezers Will Always Get Away With and You Can't - from Rant Now

Have you ever thought about how lucky women are when it comes to getting away with stuff? I mean, seriously! Women can get out of paying for drinks, they can get away with getting pulled over, driving in general, opening doors, having feelings, avoiding actual hard work, crying all the time, groping inappropriately, talking with random children, being a sugar baby, dating younger people, pouting, not having a job, sexual harassment of any kind, basically any crime [assault, blackmail, fraud, statutory rape, just about anything that would go through the court system that would send men to prison, women would get probation...or less], and not to mention all the things they can get away with when they're pregnant!!  Think about it. Women can go through any mood they want when they're pregnant and blame it on being pregnant. 

Example. I'm hungry because I'm pregnant.

I'm happy because I'm pregnant.

I'm emotional because I'm pregnant.

I'm irritable because I'm pregnant.

I have to pee a lot because I'm pregnant.

I'm miserable because I'm pregnant.

I'm crying because I'm pregnant.

I'm tired because I'm pregnant.

Need I go on? I think I've made my point. Though, to be fair, when a woman is pregnant it really is a hardship throughout the entire process of baby building, so some of these are just major courtesies expressed by society. But what pregnant woman going through essential hell wouldn't take advantage of any of these opportunities? I admit that I would. [if I were ever to get pregnant] 
Things Women Get Away With That Men Can’t - Viral Vinny
Annoying things only Hot women can get away with - The Clever

Sorry guys, your Y chromosomes are just too much for you to get away with much anything else. But what can guys get away with that women cant? You may not have as many things, guys, but there are few victories that you can revel in. For one, your wardrobe in general. you can get away with going around town in sweats and everyone will assume you're just having a relaxed day, whereas women will get the assumption we're having an emotional breakdown. Men can wear the same outfit more than once in a week. Men can get away with skipping a shave and it just makes them look sexy. Women skip a shave and we look like tree people! What about wardrobe malfunctions? you can readjust and nobody thinks twice about it. A woman tries to readjust and it looks like we have a disease. Not to mention Men can burp and fart in public and its "just what guys do". If a woman were to try to do either of those things in public, she'd be labeled 'not girlfriend material' and be forever alone. Men are allowed swear like sailors, but for a women, its unheard of and un-ladylike.   Men can literally pee anywhere they want to. As a woman, I can tell you how difficult it is to attempt to pee anywhere but inside a designated toilet, not to mention what sort of looks we would get if ever caught.  Men can get away with getting aggressive; including anything from road rage to bar fights, its just something that guys do. See a woman doing that and she's labeled with 'anger issues'.
Men don't have it easy, but they do have some silver linings in their gender.


I won't go into much detail when it comes to what the government can get away with but I will leave you with a links that will take you to a some articles where you can read up on it. I've never really been much for a political advocate but I understand the need for the government and laws and what not. but what this article depicts can honestly blow your mind.

How To Get Away With Almost Anything - How evildoers benefit from the world's ADD from Foreign Policy.
19 Evil Things Rich People and Corporations Get Away With  from Cracked
13 Things the Gov't Is Trying To Hide From You from Salon
Oh, The Things This Gov't Gets Away With! from Kaietiur News
4 Things Congress Can Get Away With, But You Can't  from Yahoo! Finance

Now, I'm not saying that all of these are 100% accurate and I'm also not saying that 100% of these are all conspiracy theories. But wouldn't it be fascinating to see the full blown side of the spectrum if they were all fact or fiction? Just some things to consider for people who aren't involved with the government.

But speaking of the government, doesn't that directly associate with different laws and guidelines that we must, as civilians abide by? Well, there are ways to get around the law. and its a little ridiculous!

For example, you can legally give away your adopted children on the internet. WHAT?! To normal people, it sounds a lot like 'Child Trafficking', but to congress, its considered 'Private Re-Homing'.  It doesn't go to anyone's surprise that parents found on the internet aren't always grade A parents. The process of re-homing is cheaper and less time-consuming than formal adoptions, which require background checks, home inspections and training. Often the transfers are completed with nothing more than a notarized power of attorney. Unfortunately, since there are no uniform regulations for private re-homing, children risk being transferred to abusive families. If you're not ready for the child and what may or may not come with them, don't be selfish. Don't just pawn them off on the next open person.

Have you heard about the Private Nudity Laws?  Basically the difference is, there's public nudity, which is anywhere in society. Then there's private nudity, which is where you can be naked in your own private property that you own. I mean, legally, no cop can stop someone from standing in their open doorway naked. And that's just what a North Carolina man from exercising that right.  Even in Topeka, Kansas, there is a law that states that you can walk around in public naked, as long as you don't show any signs of arousal on themselves, or any indication that they're attempting to arouse anyone else, its perfectly legal.

Indiana has a Religious Freedom law, which, among other things, has allowed businesses to discriminate in many different ways. Religious organizations are exempt from taxes, which is a huge benefit for people who hold high titles within churches. As long as you can prove that what you have is an actual religion, you can start a religion of just about anything! At this time, there is a Church of Cannabis that was started after this law was passed. They are currently, under the new law, they will be able to claim "reefer" is an essential part of their religious practices and thus free from government interference. Meaning that they can grow and smoke illegal substances because that is what the religion depicts as part of the teachings.  Doesn't that just make you want to jump into the sack with god?

There are a lot of legal loopholes, I recommend if you're trying to get past the legal system, that you check out these links as well! 9 Legal Loopholes ; 10 Legal Business Loopholes ; 10 Legal International Loopholes That You Shouldn't Tell Criminals ; 6 Legal Loopholes That Are Often Exploited ; 15 Unbelievable Legal Loopholes


We even have a television show called "Getting Away With Murder". From all the different crime shows out there, if you actually studied all of them, you could easily figure out a logical way around the law, or at least around getting caught with whatever you're doing to break said law. Which is almost frightening that 'entertainment' is giving crazy people the answers they need to complete their disturbing acts.


Up to this point, I've given you examples of scenarios where you can do what you want given the right scenario or circumstance. But now I'm going to show you how you, yes you, can do whatever the heck you want, whenever you want.

I’m about to give you a license to do whatever the fuck you want. I’m serious. Here, take it. I grant you the right, by the powers vested in me by whatever. Go nuts. What do you mean, you don’t want it? Oh, I’m not authorized to hand out such licenses? Wait, you’re saying that NOBODY has this kind of license to give out? That it doesn’t exist? That I’ve gone mental? But then, why do you kiss ass so hard with *her* or *him* in the hope of getting a license? Don’t act coy: I know you do. You try to make the girls (and the boys) like you, so they finally let you do what you want. I know you do because I know you’re just like me.

*not my testimony*
A while ago, I met a guy through friends. He was a ‘pick-up artist’, a student of the techniques of seduction. I had heard of this so-called ‘seduction community’ and was interested in meeting a real PUA. I clearly remember the first time I saw him. He was talking to a group of girls, they were all laughing, and I saw him smack one on the ass. When I met him, I asked him about it. He responded with: “I just met her… I couldn’t have done that a few weeks ago, I’m just starting to get good at this stuff.” And I realized that had always been my deep desire: I wanted to be about to smack a girl on the ass, and do whatever else I wanted, and just get away with it. So from that day, I became a protege of my new ass-spanking friend.
*end of testimony*

I wanted this freedom. I wanted this license. I was asking, what can I do to get people to give me this license?
But I was ignoring another, deeper question: what was stopping this PUA friend from smacking that ass a few weeks ago? Was his hand broken? Was he a completely different person? What was the REAL difference? I suppose I didn’t ask that question because I thought the answer was obvious. After all, when people like you, when you have their love and respect, you can get away with things.

You can pull things off. It could be something as simple as going out wearing a fedora: if people like you, you’re ‘unique’; if they don’t like you, you’re ‘a dick’. If you’re with friends, you have the ‘halo effect’ on your side. This is an observed effect in psychology wherein if someone is perceived as ‘good’, everything he does is assumed to be good. He can smack her ass. He can sing. He can swear. He can dance. He can flirt. And it’s all good. You can do crazy shit, and it will be seen as funny (not crazy). You can try bizarre things and you’ll be seen as ballsy (not bizarre). That is why I wanted to be liked. If people like you, they’re giving you a license that says: “Do what the fuck you want. You’ve earned this license, and we will support you, without judgment.”

When I had this, I felt completely free. The problem is, as we’ve seen, this whole license metaphor starts sounding really stupid pretty quickly, once you look into it… Some licenses are only applicable in certain social circles. My mates gave me this kind of license (but how many more licenses do you need to cover every other scenario in your life?). Some licenses have small print on them: it’s not a gold class license, so I can do what I want *only* up to a point (my family gave me one of these). Some people will probably never give me the license – either they don’t have the license to give in the first place (perhaps they never
received their own license)……or maybe they’re the kind of person who expects you just to take the license without asking. Perhaps they hope you will.

How long are you going to wait for your license?  And when you finally receive the license, will it be conditional? Will it be revoked if you go too far with it? Will you know how to use it, or will you have waited so long that you don’t know how to do whatever you want anymore? I think you get the idea. In laments terms: nobody else can really give you permission to do what you want. You have to give yourself permission first. Sure, people can react badly to you. Not everyone is going to like you. You can get fired, dumped, judged or rejected – but is that anything new? And here’s the twist: the best way to avoid these things is to go ahead and print your own license anyway. What do you think of men who do whatever they want? They’re described as bad-asses, real men, strong people, driven, confident, etc. And do women like this type of man?

The irony is delicious.
All I wanted was to get away with it, to pull it off. And it seems that no matter which way you look at it, it all starts and ends with me.


So lastly, I want to reach out to those of you that are against doing what you want, when you want. Those of you that would, tattle on someone for getting by the easy way. Those of you who harbor resentment for those that seem to not have to work towards things because they're big and bold. Those of you who retaliate for reason that don't even effect you to start with.  I'm not going to go too far into this, but just ask a simple question.  Why are you angry? Why can you not be one of these people? Is it morals, or just your lack of nerve to get yourself to this level? Whatever it may be, I encourage you to read this article. It goes in depth on acceptance of other people and their decisions.
People Who Get Away With Things: Why Be Angry? It comes from Psychology today, written by a Ph.D. named Mary C Lamia. If you can't bring yourself to be one of use who does whatever we want, please become on that has accepted that that is what we will do.

What's In A Name

❝'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself. (2.2.38-49)❞

This year, more than 120 million babies will be born on earth. Those who survive will sooner or later undergo the initiation process of receiving a name. At one time anthropologists thought that some groups of people were so "primitive" and unorganized that they didn't use names. We now know that the anthropologists were mistaken and that the idea came about because research fieldworkers were not able to get inside the minds of the people well enough to understand the customs and taboos that required that names be kept secret from strangers. The truth is that names are a part of every culture and that they are of enormous importance both to the people who receive names and to the societies that give them.

Despite their universality, there is a great deal of difference from one culture to another in how names are given. Among most preliterate peoples, names are determined according to very definite and specific rules. Generally, in cultures with a keen sense of ancestry, children get their names from the totems and family trees of their parents. In some cultures, names are taken from events which happen during the pregnancy of the mother or shortly after the birth of the child, and in others, names are divined through magic and incantation. In some cases, the name given at birth is only the first of several names a person will bear throughout life. When this happens, the new names are given either to mark important milestones in life or to ward off evil spirits by tricking them into thinking that the person with the old name has disappeared. Regardless of when, why, or how often it happens, the giving and receiving of a name is an event of major importance. Quite frequently the significance of names is emphasized by elaborate rituals that almost always have deep religious meaning.

 One rather dramatic example of this is the naming ceremony of the Khasi people in Africa. Among these people, children are named within a day of their births. The ceremony begins when a relative of the child prepares a sacrifice by pouring rice meal into small dishes and filling a gourd with rice liquor. After an invocation, the relative pours the liquor into the rice meal while reciting a list of names. The name the child will have is the one the relative recites during the pouring of the drop of liquor that takes the longest to leave the bottle. Once the name is "discovered" in this way, they anoint the baby's feet with the meal-and-liquor paste, and the parents and relatives eat the paste. Then, after swinging it over the baby three times, the father leaves the group to bury the placenta.

The gore of a placenta flying through the air and the mess of a baby smeared with rice paste may not correspond very well with western notions of what a ceremony is supposed to be. Yet, an objective observer might well remark that some of the things Christians do in christening rites, which are generally considered solemn and dignified, are not all that different from some of the elements of the Khasi naming ceremony. This is especially true of the baptismal ceremony of the Catholic Church. Although in the eyes of the Church the rite of baptism is not primarily a naming ceremony, the giving of the baptismal, or Christian, name is certainly a part of it. In the Catholic baptismal ceremony, the priest meets the parents, godparents, and baby at the door of the church building, and the first thing he says is, "What name do you give your child?" After the parents answer this and other questions, the priest invites the parents and godparents to trace the sign of the cross on the child's forehead, and then they move into the main body of the building for the rest of the christening. After a reading from one of the gospels, special prayers, and the recitation of part of the Litany of the Saints, the priest anoints the child with holy oils. Then follows the pouring of water on the child's forehead three times, which technically constitutes the actual baptism. A second anointing with oil occurs, and the parents receive a white garment to put on the child. The priest then lights a ceremonial candle and presents it to the father or godfather on behalf of the child. The ceremony concludes with additional prayers (Rite of Baptism).

Modern Christian theologians speak of baptism as a sacrament of initiation into the church, and in this sense it serves basically the same purpose as naming ceremonies in preliterate societies. In Christian thought, baptism is a cleansing or reclaiming of the soul of the child, and this takes place under the name the child receives in the ceremony. Among preliterate peoples, the act of naming is a bestowal of a soul on the one who receives the name.

In either case, the effect is the same: the person who receives a name thereby receives an identity and a place within the society. This bestowal of name and identity is a kind of symbolic contract between the society and the individual.

 Seen from one side of the contract, by giving a name the society confirms the individual's existence and acknowledges its responsibilities toward that person. The name differentiates the child from others; thus, the society will be able to treat and deal with the child as someone with needs and feelings different from those of other people. Through the name, the individual becomes part of the history of the society, and, because of the name, his or her deeds will exist separate from the deeds of others.

In industrialized countries, parents must register a child's birth and record the child's name. In this way, the child's name becomes part of the public record of the society. The birth certificate the parents receive when they register the child's birth becomes a kind of ticket or passport to some of the essential services the society offers its members. For example, the public schools in the United States require that prospective students present birth certificates when they register for classes. If a child doesn't have a birth certificate for some reason, the school system feels no obligation toward the child until the parents produce a birth certificate or provide some other type of verification of the child's legal name and date of birth. As mentioned earlier, the symbolic name contract requires that the society recognize and provide for the needs of individuals, at least in a general way. From time to time, however, certain individuals and groups feel that the society has failed to live up it its part of the bargain, and they sometimes respond by abandoning the name and identity under which they entered into the original contract. Such was the case in recent years with the radical Black Muslim organization. These people believed that the social and political system in the United States had failed them and that racist attitudes and practices of American culture had victimized and oppressed them. They responded by adopting a new culture that they thought would better meet their needs, and, in the process, they changed their "white" names to Black Muslim names.

As seen from the other side of the name contract, by receiving a name, the individual implicitly accepts membership in the society and agrees to follow its rules and customs. In the United States, the practice of within our penal system of forcing convicts to exchange their names for prison numbers emphasizes this aspect of the naming bargain. In doing this, society says, in effect, that the convicts have broken the contract with civilization that their names imply. They have separated themselves from the community by breaking the rules; thus, they are no longer entitled to the identity and social privileges their names give them. Certain relatively closed societies within the larger society use a similar sort of practice when a member breaks the rules and has to be expelled. For example, some college fraternities and sororities strike an expelled member's name from the rolls with indelible ink to make sure future generations of members will not discover who their ex-sibling was and, presumably, not follow his or her example.

 In the closed society of the Virginia Military Academy, where conformity to rules and time-honored traditions is a sacred obligation, they mark the conferral of non-identity on cadets who violate the school's honor code with a mini-pageant that rivals the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. As Frank Rose describes it in Real Men, "Once [the cadet] has gone--in the very early hours of the morning, as it usually happens--his departure is announced by a low drum roll that grows steadily in intensity until it is broken by a boom on the bass drum. As the drum rolls and the intermittent booms continue, the members of the honor court march through the arch and up to the topmost stoop. From there, they work their way around and down, their president pronouncing as they go the name of the disgraced cadet, the charge on which he was convicted, and the admonition never to utter his name again." From a strictly objective viewpoint, blotting out a person's name in a club registry or forbidding cadets to mention a name in the future does absolutely nothing to change either the person or what he or she did. However, the link between name and identity is so strong and the importance of the symbolic name bargain so great that we genuinely feel that actions of this type somehow have the desired effect of making the person a non-entity.

The names parents choose for their children also reflect the relationship between name and identity that the symbolic contract seals. This is particularly true of the names of twins, for whom the establishment of a unique identity is often difficult. Parents tend to think of twins as a single person who happens to have two bodies, and they often choose names for them that reinforce the idea that the twins have a single, shared identity. Robert Plank, who studied names of twins, discovered that the names fit into three patterns and that the names in two of the patterns show unmistakable similarity. The most common pattern, which occurred in 62 of the cases Plank studied, was the use of names that begin with the same letter. This included such names as Richard and Robert (Ricky and Robby), Joseph and Judith (Joey and Judy), Louise and Louisa, as well as such names as Paul and Paula and Patrick and Patricia. The second pattern involved names that had different first letters but where similar in sound, rhythm, or rhyme. Such sets of names as Tracy and Stacy, Billy Joe and Penny Sue accounted for 17 of the sets of names. Finally, Plank found that only 21 of the sets of names were different enough from one another to be considered dissimilar. Identical twins, who are always of the same sex and who look so much alike people have trouble telling them apart, fare worse than fraternal twins in the similarity of their names. For, as Plank found, almost 90 of the identical twins had similar names compared to roughly only 75 of the fraternals. The point of all of this is not that parents of twins are vindictive toward their children and purposely give them names that will confuse other people. Instead, the point is that the parents instinctively feel that their twins share an identity and hence should "share" a name.

 Sometimes, though, it seems that parents are unable to resist the temptation for humor when it comes to naming twins. For example, a woman in London named her twin daughters Kate and Duplicate. When a clergyman refused to baptize the second one, the newspapers picked up the mother's cause and editorialized in support of her right to give her children any names she wanted. A couple in Dubuque, Iowa, named their twins Bing and Bang.  Dick Gregory, the comedian and civil rights leader, combined his two callings by giving his twins the middle names of Inte and Gration (Smith).

We find an awareness of the link between name and identity in everyday speech, particularly in the words we use in making introductions and in identifying ourselves when we answer the telephone. When we introduce ourselves, we usually say something like, "Hi. I'm John Smith," and when we answer the phone we probably say something like, "Hello. This is Susan Johnson speaking." Occasionally, before a group of strangers, we might use a more distant form and say, "My name is Carol Jones, and I work . . .," but we almost always reserve this style for situations where our function or job is more important than who we really are. On the other hand, we would probably never answer the phone by saying, "Hello. My name is Pat Wilson," nor would we introduce someone else with an expression like, "Mother, this person's name is Beth." The reason we instinctively choose "I am . . ." or "This is . . ." is that we intuitively associate our identity and the identity of the person we are introducing with a name.

The same idea applies when our name is mispronounced. Most people take great care to make sure they pronounce another person's name correctly, especially in introductions. The reason for this concern is that people generally resent the mispronunciation of their name because mispronunciation amounts to a distortion of their identity. Accidental distortions are annoying, but mispronunciations and distortions of a name on purpose are sizable insults, especially if they result in unflattering puns. Martin Luther used this tactic to belittle one of his enemies, Dr. Eck, by purposely writing his name as Dreck, which means filth. Freud saw psychological meaning in the accidental distortion of a person's name. He noticed that aristocrats seemed to mispronounce their doctors' names more often than other people did. He interpreted this as one way the aristocracy had of keeping physicians in their place. Doctors might have power over the life and death of their patients, but they couldn't compete with the aristocrats in political influence and social prestige. By unconsciously distorting the doctors' names, the aristocracy said, in effect, that the doctors were not important enough for them to bother pronouncing their names correctly.

Shakespeare used this idea in King John. In the first scene, Philip Faulconbridge learns that he is really the bastard son of Richard the Lion-Hearted, hence the son of a king. King John, Richard's brother, changes Philip's name to Richard Plantagenet and grants him the honor of a prince and nephew. In a soliloquy following the name change, the new Richard says, "And if his name be George, I'll call him Peter;/For new-made honour doth forget men's names" (I, i, 186-187). Freud and Shakespeare both recognized that the relationship between name and identity is so strong that the misrepresentation of a name amounts to a misrepresentation of the person (Smith). The sense of personal identity and uniqueness that a name gives us is at the heart of why names interest us and why they are important to us as individuals and to our society as a whole. In spite of their importance, though, most people know very little about names and about the effects they have on us an on our children in everyday life. In a very real sense, we are consumers of names, and we have a need and right to know about the psychological, magical, legal, religious, and ethnic aspects of our names.

In conclusion, one of the most important aspects of a person is their name; not necessarily what it represents based on some religion or random dead language study, but how it represents you as the person that you are or the importance that you hold within your group of peers. So how important is your name to you?

 

 



Benefits of Keeping a Journal

Some of the most influential people in history kept detailed journals of their lives. Those journals served two purposes: a permanent record for posterity, and cathartic release for the people writing them. Even if you don't think you need either, keeping a journal has great benefits you can enjoy immediately. Here's why you might want to sit down regularly to jot down your thoughts.

Even if you don't think there'll ever be a documentary that uses your journal for flavor commentary, there are plenty of reasons to keep one for yourself. Maybe you want to leave something behind for your children that tells your story and what you accomplished. Maybe you're more practical, and want a way to harness your creativity. Maybe you just want the cathartic release that comes with regular writing. Whatever it is, these are all great reasons.

Writing can do wonders for your health. Beyond keeping your creative juices flowing—a separate topic we'll get to shortly—regular writing can give you a safe, cathartic release valve for the stresses of your daily life. Some have discussed some of those mental and emotional benefits of writing before, from the angle of creative writing—but you don't have to write fiction to get them. For example, keeping an awesomeness journal can do wonders for your self-esteem. Not only does regular writing make you feel good, it helps you re-live the events you experienced in a safe environment where you can process them without fear or stress.

In fact, there's so much data about the mental and emotional benefits of journaling that counselors, social workers, and therapists often encourage their patients to do it. This study from the journal Advances in Psychiatric Treatment is a great experiment, and a solid summary of current research on the topic. In the piece, the researchers noted that 15–20 minutes on 3–5 occasions was enough to help the study participants deal with traumatic, stressful, or otherwise emotional events. It's been specifically effective in people with severe illnesses, like cancer, for example. In fact, the practice is so well regarded, there's a Center for Journal Therapy dedicated to the mental health benefits of regular journaling, both in therapeutic and personal settings.

 

It's not just what you write about though. How you write plays a role as well. This University of Iowa study showed that journaling about stressful events helped participants deal with the events they experienced. The key, however, was to focus on what you were thinking and feeling as opposed to your emotions alone. In short, you get the best benefits of journaling when you're telling your personal story, not just writing about your feelings on their own. It's a great example of how telling your own personal story can make a huge difference in your well being.

The creative benefits of keeping a journal are also well documented. You've likely heard that the best way to get better at writing is to just keep doing it. That's true, but the benefits go deeper than just crafting better sentences. For example, regular writing can help you learn to process and communicate complex ideas effectively. It can also help you memorize important information, and brainstorm new ideas. In other words, writing about your experiences not only helps you process them, it helps you see opportunities that may not have been apparent at first glance. It also helps you learn to break down complex experiences into relevant, useful bits of information organized coherently.

Even if you don't think anything special has happened to you, the very act of keeping a journal can help you brainstorm. How often have you caught yourself writing about something that seems dull on the surface, but led you to a spiderweb of other thoughts, ideas, and memories as you were processing it? Regular writing opens the door to those opportunities every time you sit down.

Even If You Don't Do Creative Work, Regular Writing Has Practical Benefits. Regular writing can be functional, as well, and serve as a reminder of mistakes you've made, accomplishments you're proud of, and great moments you want to remember. For example, keeping a work diary can serve as a track record of mistakes and successes. That written record can come in handy later when you're feeling down, but they can also help you right your personal ship when you're feeling lost. Pick up your work diary and look back over the things you did really well with—you may be able to pick out a pattern of things you want to follow, career-wise. Similarly, those achievements and awesome moments don't just boost your self-esteem, they give you great justification for a raise or promotion when it comes time to talk to the boss about an increase. You don't have to be a creative worker to appreciate looking back over the things you did well, and the things you need to work on. Seeing your own mistakes before they're pointed out to you is a great thing, and documenting your achievements makes sure they're never overlooked.

Regular writing can apply to more than just work, too. Keeping a journal is a great way to build better habits, as it forces you to be aware of your actions and behaviors. If you're looking to watch what you eat, keeping a food diary is a great way to stay paying closer attention—one that's been proven to help people eat more healthfully. Similarly, just writing down positive things that happened to you or tracking your mood can help you identify good patterns in your life that are repeatable that you should make time for—not to mention things that make you feel bad or throw you off your game that should be eliminated.

Which Medium You Should Choose, and Why

Once you've decided to keep a journal, your next decision is the medium to use for it. You have plenty of options, and what works for one person won't work for another. You have to choose the one that works best for you. Here are a few options:

Paper Notebooks

If you love the feeling of physically writing down your thoughts, a paper notebook may be the best option for you. There's really nothing like setting pen to paper, and here are some paper notebook suggestions to get you started! Keeping a paper journal gives you total physical control over your writing, and it gives you the most privacy, since there's little chance of your journal being "hacked" or "lost" when a service shuts down or is compromised. However, paper journaling means you don't have backups in case something happens to your work—theft, fire, or just a lost backpack means your journal is gone forever.

If you don't want just a plain empty notebook, the Bullet Journal productivity method fits in nicely if you're already using your paper notebook for to-dos and notes, and the previously mentioned Sorta has unique notebooks with removable pages. If you're afraid you're too busy to journal, consider the Five-Minute Journal, a paper notebook that's sets you up with a motivational quote, then gives you daily writing prompts to fill out like "Today I'm grateful for," "What would make today great?" and "3 Great Things that happened today."

Journaling and Diary Apps

If you just can't separate yourself from your phone or laptop, there are plenty of apps that promise privacy and security as well as a great writing environment. Here are a few, but some of the stand-outs include Penzu, an all-online private journaling webapp with mobile apps, and Day One, a good looking iOS/OS X app that's location-aware, lets you add photos, and more. If you prefer free and open-source, try RedNotebook. It's a fantastic wiki-style journaling tool that's cross-platform.

 

Of course, you don't have to use apps at all. You could just keep an encrypted text file in Dropbox, use Evernote or Google Keep, or any other note-taking app you prefer. You can even roll your own custom journaling system with whatever tools you prefer, but keep in mind that the more you automate the process, the less you're actually journaling, so you don't get quite the same benefits.

 

Blogging

 

Blogging is another great way to get the benefits of journaling, regardless of whether you get started to make a name for yourself, or to just get your thoughts and feelings out in the open. Keeping a blog opens the door to the widest possible audience, but it comes with the sacrifice of privacy. If that's your preferred route, you have a wide array of tools and hosts to choose from, both free and paid.  Here you can be walked through some of the most popular blogging platforms, and even introduce some of the new contenders you may have heard of. All of them offer different looks, cater to different audiences, and are designed for different kinds of people. Whatever you choose, keeping a personal blog may not come with writing prompts or fancy mobile apps (although some do), but they can come with community, and option to share your story with the world. For example, this is my public blog, but I do have a secret blog that hides my identity.

 

 

However you choose to keep your journal, there are clear benefits to doing it. You don't have to be Kurt Cobain, Isaac Newton, Abraham Lincoln, Andy Warhol, Leonardo Da Vinci, or any other famous artist, creative, politician, scientist, or famous figure for your thoughts and experiences to be worthwhile. In every case, they can be a huge benefit to you, personally, and enlightening for anyone you choose to share them with.

 

I'm going to challenge myself to  spend 30 days keeping a journal. Would you like to do it with me? Let me know! We'll do it together! Share your stories/experiences/concerns (if you feel comfortable). I'll keep my readers in the know! Good Luck!!